Words & Phrases No One Should Use

At work, we frequently talk about incorrectly pronounced words and phrases that drive us insane. Maybe it’s because we’re in advertising. Maybe it’s just because we’re all Type A.

Before you go searching on dictionary.com to prove me wrong about anything written here, I’ll tell you right up front that some of these words (sadly) are now acceptable because they’re so commonly used, but they’re marked as “uncommon usage.” As I like to say, you can’t stop progress. I guess this is a side effect of the many vs. the few winning again (I’m sure that’s what Ashton Kutcher would say, but I don’t think he’s following my blog yet). I wish I could be the person at Merriam-Webster who gets to decide which new words are added to the dictionary each year! But I know I’ll never get that job, because I’m so anal I’d reject most of the suggestions.

Regardless, the word at the top of my list is “irregardless.” My closest friends use this word frequently (you know who you are). It’s meaningless. Now you’ve read it on the web, so you know it must be true.

But I’ve realized that different “wrong” words drive different people insane. One friend hates the term “same difference”…which is something I say frequently. It never occurred to me that it’s a pointless phrase. I’ll have to wait and see (or is it “wait to see”?) whether or not I stop using it now that it’s been pointed out to me. Other irksome words/phrases include:
supposebly (I still can’t believe people actually say this)
pacificly (for specifically)
pitcher (for picture)
tarot cards (it’s tar-oh)
I could care less (it’s couldn’t)
besides the point (it’s beside)
a mute point (it’s moot…although this term has it’s own issues. Look it up if you’re concerned)
Gorilla Advertising (this is an industry fav! FYI…it’s guerrilla!! Although we argue about the spelling of that one too. My way is right.)

Writing this reminds me of when I was in the third grade. I had a friend named “Wendy” and our teacher used to chastise all of us for pronouncing it “Windy.” We had no idea what she was talking about. We all thought she was insane. And I bet most of you hate the phrase “I’m fixing to ” What can I say…that’s a southern thing that came from my parents. My Louisiana cousins used to torture my 10-year-old self (from California at the time) for saying “you guys” instead of “y’all.” And if you live above the Mason-Dixon line, trying saying a word like “foil” to someone in the deep south…they won’t even know what you’re talking about. (If you’ve never been there, they pronounce it “foal.”) Needless to say, moving around a lot resulted in a confusing childhood for me, from a dialect standpoint.

I guess none of us are perfect (yes, I just admitted I’m not perfect, you can stop laughing now), and where we were raised has a huge influence on our pronunciation. But if you have a word or phrase to add to the list…please share! If you’re too busy…same difference.

1972's Vision of The Future...in 2010

My husband and I just inherited a box of books from his childhood. One of them (which Dan vividly remembers reading decades ago) is called “2010 – Living In The Future.” It was written in 1972, when he was 2 years old. Looking at this vision of the far-away future (egads! that’s now!), made us laugh hysterically.

The book illustrations include computers looking like HUGE beasts with dials (like our TV sets had back then). The description of the kitchen’s control panel includes the phrase “it looks like a typewriter.” If only there were a reference to 8-tracks somewhere, the imagery would be complete.

Much of it is reminiscent of The Jetsons – machines showering and dressing us, food appearing on conveyor belts just after you order it, etc. (Although there was no prediction of flying cars, which frankly, was my favorite part of the Jetsons.)

A few things have actually happened. They somewhat accurately describe using computers to order things like groceries…except they’re using telephones along with the computer screen to do so. There was no way to envision the Internet! There are not-quite-right, but still close to the idea, descriptions of going to school from home and using videophones. There’s a page about reading and ordering books on a computer screen, which amazon.com recently pioneered with their Kindle.

I really wish the description of airline travel had come true, which is described as being so cheap and prevalent that you don’t need advance reservations, and so fast that you can be in Australia in a couple of hours!

Interestingly, on the heels of “Earth Day” last week, they wrote that all of our dishes would be disposable and simply washed into the sewers. Apparently there was not much of a concern about conservation issues in 70s…and sadly, they couldn’t envision that our oceans would be filled with garbage swirls the size of Texas by 2009. There’s also a mention that “no one is concerned about pollution anymore” because of technological advances eliminating that problem. If only that one had come true!

But I’m also glad that not all of their predictions are a reality. SO thankful that we are NOT all wearing jumpsuits, which is a major theme in the book (along with still wearing 70s hair styles!)
The most disappointing line says “no matter where people work, they will work for only three days a week” (due to the increases in efficiency). How unfortunate that those changes have actually only resulted in everyone working harder, and wanting more, for less! Sigh. I can only hope my kids don’t have 80-hour workweeks when they grow up.

I can hardly wait to see what happens in another 40 years. I really hope we can pay with things using only our fingerprints. I’m sick of all the change in the bottom of my purse.

What A Complicated World Wide Web We Weave

Twitter me this, twitter me that. Do you tweet? I never imagined I’d ask someone that question. Apparently the trick on twitter.com is to give people a meaningful update in 140 characters or less, rather than sending out daily messages that say “I’m so tired. I need a vacation. Have you seen my shoes?”

You can follow TV characters for entertainment. You can follow colleagues for shared industry information. You can follow friends if you actually like hearing about their random “here’s what I’m doing this second” thoughts. Whatever floats your boat. The problem we discovered today…is that you can’t stop anyone else from following you! Enter possible cyber-stalkers slash creepy-70s-porn-starish tweeters who can choose to follow you at any time.

Twitter is getting hotter, probably because “all the old people have ruined Facebook.” Yeah...I think that would be me...and my friends...and definitely my husband. I think my generation is enamored with the possibilities of the technology, but we're too busy and jaded to use it the way the kids do. We have to teach each other how to forward quizzes. And for some reason...a lot of our husbands are kind of addicted to it. Mine has about 200 Friends...many of them people he met when he was seven years old and hasn't seen since. I'm not kidding! A few of my husband's Friends have actually turned into those pseudo-cyber-stalkers. But I guess if you’re going to have a stalker, digital is the best flavor to get.

Some of my Friends have just stopped checking their Facebook pages. Some of them still just don't get it or don’t care about it. Some throw sheep and fish and garden plants at me fairly regularly. My favorite thing is the flair. Since we’re too old to put plastic buttons on our backpacks/briefcases (like I did as a child in the 70s), at least we can put virtual ones on our Facebook page. It’s a nice flashback to my youth, plus they’re much funnier (and sometimes naughtier) than anything my mom would have let me buy when I was twelve!

I find Facebook interesting, but primarily as a voyeuristic way to look at my Friends' (sometimes embarrassing) vacation pictures or laugh at one friend making fun at another on their walls. Does that make me a bad person? (If you say yes, I’m going to block you from my “Friend” list. )

Which reminds me…whenever I do something, like step on my daughter’s foot, I say to her “I’m sorry,” and she replies “That’s okay. You’re still my best friend.” I guess our whole lives, we’re looking for friends and hoping they won’t disappear because of something we’ve accidentally done to them. But the digital world has added a new wrinkle. I only have about 50 Friends, and I'm still trying to plot how I can get rid of the half I don't care about, without hurting anyone's feelings. (Don't worry - you're not one of those Friends. I promise). I guess ignoring them online is a lot easier than pretending my mom won’t let me play with them after school, like I did in the old days.

Kids today literally need these networks to function in their social lives. My generation uses it more as entertainment (funny videos and quizzes rock) and as a way to keep at least a fleeting attachment to all those people we cared about once upon a time but have lost daily touch with. Sort of like how the "telephone" functioned back when I was young(er)! It makes me wonder what the hell my kids will be doing to keep in touch 30 years from now.

It’s a kick trying to figure out how to use these technologies for marketing purposes, particularly navigating across their constantly changing landscapes. Personally, I'm pretty much over Facebook…but now I’m on to Twitter...look out...

High Expectations

Last night my three-year-old daughter said to me “when I grow up I’m going to have eight kids, and I’ll read all of them as many books as they want.” This was after I had agreed to read her a mere two books…which was clearly not up to her standards.

I’m not too worried that some day I’ll end up with eight grandkids that will expect me to read them libraries full of books, while Ava jets off to Paris on vacation (which is what I try to do whenever my mom comes to visit). But it’s sad that she’s already disappointed (at the unfairness of life? in me?) and wanting more. Do we have an innate obsession with wanting more? Or is this just one of the first items on the long list of things she’ll blame me for later while her therapist hands her a Kleenex®? No…it can’t just be me. As consumers we want Extra Value Meals! BOGOs! Lower Interest Rates! Free Shipping! As employees we want more vacation, less overtime, higher pay. I’ve even heard rumors that (some) clients seem to want more work for lower charges, faster responses with less input, and bigger results from smaller investments. We all want more from everyone. And everyone wants more from us. Even our President is saying “Yes we can. Eventually. Keep working harder on it.”

Are we just scared? Of our economy collapsing? Of another 911? Of losing our jobs? Of not making our mortgage payments? Of not being read enough books before bedtime?
I don’t think so. I think even Montana’s pioneer women wished they had more vegetables in the garden. Indoor plumbing. Running water. They had no idea that in the future we’d be scheduling a run to Albertson’s® before their “20% off Wine” special ended. (Poor girls…I can’t imagine.) And where would we all be now…if they hadn’t wanted more then? I shudder to think.

“Optimist” is not a word people use to describe me. Usually, my glass is half empty. Some days the water is all over the floor. Life is hard. I could complain for hours. But the truth is…I have a great job, nice home, wonderful family, supportive friends, good health. And yes, I’ll always want more. But today, I’m trying to be grateful for what I have.

Of course, that won’t stop me from searching for a good free shipping coupon code. Let me know if you have a good one.

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog. In an attempt to more fully understand blogging options, i've decided to force my family, friends and colleagues to read my online ramblings (at least once, we'll see if anyone comes back). Please go ahead and RSS me, DIGG me, Tweet me...whatever. And if you don't know what these terms mean, stay tuned...

i'm not sure yet what the theme of this blog will be...i'm guessing primarily adventures with Advertising and Children?

Today's topic is...Doritos(R). Surprised? Yes...I know. In the office this morning we continued our Friday afternoon discussion about Doritos flavors. I'm old school. I like classic products in classic flavors. I'm the ultimate "brand loyal" consumer. Doritos should be nacho-cheese flavored. Not cool ranch...or cheeseburger...or "mystery/mixed up/try-to-guess" flavors. Most (maybe all) of my co-workers disagreed with me. They clearly don't know what they're talking about. But google-ing bits of the discussion led me to two new pieces of information. First, the ORIGINAL flavor of Doritos was actually "Taco", followed by "Plain" (we call those Tostitos now-a-days). This knowledge was kind of a blow...but I'm going with my boss (Brenda's) suggestion that Nacho Cheese is surely the longest lasting and most popular, so it's okay to support it. Second, there used to be a "Pizza Hut Pizza-flavored" Dorito! That's just a gratuitous shout-out to one of my favorite clients. And that's the only non-nacho-cheese-flavor I'd like to try, if it still existed.

Even more interesting...later today Brenda returned from lunch where she literally bought a "taco in a Doritos bag" from the gym restaurant. I don't even know how to wrap my mind around that. But yes...they were Nacho Cheese flavored Doritos! One comment was "Is there meat in there?" The answer was yes. And if you've never heard my "Hey! There's a hot dog in here!" story...ask me later. And now i feel like i need to go pitch the Doritos account. Is this an episode of "Trust Me"? So much product placement. Maybe tomorrow i'll talk about toothpaste.